Spongey's Christmas Carol: Introduction

Hello, Spongey here.

Christmas is upon as once again!

We all know Christmas is awesome, and of course, so are Christmas specials!

Last year, I did a list of the top 11 best Christmas specials. I left a TON of good ones out. No one complained about this, since no reads this blog begin with,. However, I wanted to just do a follow up list, but I still might leave some good ones out!

So, for the 1 reader I have, I present to you a Christmas spectacle I like to call..

Spongey's Christmas Carol:

I was going to do one Christmas review every day…but I can’t remember to do this every day! So I’ll TRY to get one out every sometimes, but I will say right now to expect one at least every few days. I might do many in a row, but if there is no update for a couple days, you now know why.

I will do old Christmas stuff I love, and recent ones I found. And maybe I’ll look at some…lesser Christmas offerings. *Evil laugh*

So yea, I will also leave hints as to what the next special will…

So I leave with one of those. So tomorrow, expect to witness a recent Christmas high…

Movie Review: The Muppets

Hello, Spongey here.

This movie is big. It’s been anticipated for years, there has been promotion up he wazoo, and it currently has 97% on Rotten tomatoes. Clearly this is an epic motion picture that deserves an epic introduction if you do a review of it.

So I will..

The muppets were big. There were some movies. They were good, but none topped the first one. There wasn’t much of the muppets in film for a while. They made a new one. This is it. Let’s review it.

PLOT: On vacation in Los Angeles, Walter, the world's biggest Muppet fan, and his friends Gary (Jason Segel) and Mary (Amy Adams) from Smalltown, USA, discover the nefarious plan of oilman Tex Richman (Chris Cooper) to raze the Muppet Theater and drill for the oil recently discovered beneath the Muppets' former stomping grounds. To stage The Greatest Muppet Telethon Ever and raise the $10 million needed to save the theater, Walter, Mary and Gary help Kermit reunite the Muppets, who have all gone their separate ways

SONGS: Of course, it’s a musical. There are many great songs, from the opening number “Life’s happy song” to the emotional “pictures in my head” and, of course the muppet classic, Rainbow Connection. It’s hard to choose a fave, but the BEST is “Life’s a happy song”, but my favorite was the villain song, “Let’s talk about me”. Especially the soundtrack version, which has a…well you’ll see.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Normally I don’t say what has been said already, but since this movie is only a day old, I’ll say what I want.

If you are even SLIGHTLY aware of the muppets, in any way, then this movie was made for you. The movie is made in a way that it will appeal to adult who grew up on the muppets, as well as kids who have heard of them through…the internet I guess. They give you the low down on the muppets and their popularity, as they show Walter as he discovers the muppet show for the first time. So this way, kids won’t get confuse. So the criticism I heard of the writers ignoring kids for the sake of catering to nostalgia hogs is a load of fucking bullshit. (Besides, my love for the muppets was not due to nostalgia, and I liked this movie)

Anyway, on to the rest.

To keep it simple, everything is done as well as it should be. The characters are exacty how you remember them. Of course, within the situations the movie puts them in, they have to act differently as part of their character development, including Kermit. I’ve heard some complaints about Kermit in this movie, and frankly I disagree. He’s the guy I found myself caring about most. He even sings a song early on, that would have made me cry…if I wasn’t a MAN!

Oh, and the other people are great too.. jason and Amy do great whenever they are on screen, and while Siegel isn’t exactly a born dancer, he and amy are good actors who give great performances, making their character very likable.

Walter was a great addition to the cast. He’s the classic promoted fanboy, and he’s of course likable and he has mad *SPOILER* skills. The villain, is a nice parody of cliché villains. He chews the scenery is every scene and enjoys it as much as the audience did. Oh, and the little thing that goes on with his henchmen was nice. (Spoiler avoiding ftw!)

You get it, the characters are good. Moving on, the story is done well too. They really make suck you into the movie right from the opening scene. Yes, the plot is basic but the movie takes no shame in that. It knows what it is, and rolls with it. When I heard the plot, I thought the worst. But it’s done quite well, and has that…touch that makes it good.

This movie is also quite emotional. The last 10 minutes alone could make a lesser person cry. Meaning, anyone who isn’t a man like me. I can’t say much more than that.

As for criticisms….well, maybe they could of use Mary a /bit/ more, since she kinda goes away once the plot kicks in, but I didn’t mind. Besides, she shows up later, song and all. The humans do add to the story in the long run, but the movie belongs to the muppets. Also, early on, our favorite hecklers Statler and waldorf show up with villains, and make a couple snarky comments…then they disappear never the show up again until much later. Minor issue, but I wish they had more to do. Perhaps if we are really lucky, they’ll do the DVD commentary. As long we don’t do anything stupid while we wait for the DVD

Waldorf: Too late, you already did

Statler: By seeing the movie in theaters!

Both: DO HO HO HO HO HO!

Ah, they don’t care for most things.

So to sum it up, this movie was great. It was everything I could wish for. It was really funny, entertaining, and heart…felt.

*RIMSHOT*

…Ya, that’s all for now.

GRADE: A

Waldorf: Just when you think this review is terrible, something wonderful happens!

Statler: What’s that?

Waldorf: It ends

Both: DO HO HO HO HO HO!

A Lookback at the Spongebob Squarepants Movie

Hello, Spongey here.

So, this is kind of a weird thing for me to do. You see, today is the 7th anniversary of a movie I like. Normally, I wouldn ‘t care. I would just say “cool story bro” and go on. I usually review movies when I want to, or if a sequel comes out. But with this movie, I simply must.

Of course, that movie is…

The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie.

This movie is a huge part of my childhood, and me in general. It stands for everything I am now, and everything I love about SpongeBob, film, and animation in general.

Okay, maybe it’s not THAT epic, but it’s still a great movie to me.

Anyway, this one of the sadly few movies I’ve seen in theatres. I saw in thanksgiving, to make things better. I loved it then, and I’ve seen 20 times since,

No, I counted. I saw it 20 times. I stopped counting at 20, and I’ve seen a few more times. The count may be 30 now. I also bought the soundtrack, and this weird comic adaptation. I lost both,.

Don’t worry, I used itunes to get the soundtrack on my mp3player.

First of all, let’s talk about the years leading up to the movie. In very earl 2004, Spongebob was in its 3^rd season, and the height of its popularity. At this point, there were many rumors of the show ending. Of course, I was quite young, so I believed them. It was said that the season 3 finale: Spongebob Meets the strangler/Pranks a lot would be the series finale.

Of course, it all turned out to be 100% shit. Then…they announced the movie. Every fan was super hyped as all hell. You couldn’t imagine the insane hype it had. There were posters, commercials. A NASCAR race named after it, and of course Burger king toys.

The early trailers didn’t really say the plot. Infact, it was awhile before we even KNEW the plot. This was a great way of building up mystery, like they did with the simpsons movie.

So yea, then it finally came out on November 19^th, 2004. A few days later, I finally saw it.

Normally, I would analyze this movie and discuss every aspect of it, and talk about it’s moral….but I don’t have much time so we’ll only talk about the basics.

The plot follows Spongebob, (Voiced by Tom Kenny) as he is excited. Why? Today Is the grand opening of the Krusty Krab 2. Why is there a krusty krab 2?

MR KRABS; Money!

Of course. Anyway, since Mr Krabs could never manage both of them, he’s appointing a manger for the KK 2. SpongeBob thinks he’ll get it. No, he doesn’t think, he pretty is CONVICNED he will the manager. He even plans a party for that night.

From that, you might think that SB is being a cocky jerk who thinks he knows everything. But, that’s not the case. He knows he’s the best worker, and he’s so excited about the possibility, he’s convinced it will happen. Sort of like a little kid who wants a Christmas gift, and their parents simply said “maybe”.

So after all that…he doesn’t get it. Squidward (Roger Bumpass) does. Even though he’s a lazy fuck. Why? SB’s just a kid. Well, he acts one anyway. He’s obviously an adult. But that’s the joke…and I ruined it.

SB goes emo and drowns his sorrows at a local place called Goofy Goobers. After parick (Bill Faggerbake) shows up, they eat tons of ice cream, and start acting tipsy, and they wake up in the morning with a big headache,

…Yes, they basically got drunk.

You know-for kids!

Anyway, before that scene, we run into the movies villain: Plankton. He’s mad because all his plans so far have failed. All of them, from A-Y. Yes, a to Y. His computer wife, Karen reminds him of the last letter. Plankton hadn’t seen his file for plan Z (even though I assume he WROTE it…whatever), so he checks it out. He likes it, and decides to use it.

We then meet King Neptune. It’s here where I have to explain something that confused some fans. You see, in the show, Neptune was the god of the sea. He only showed up (at the time) in the episode “Neptune’s Spatula) where we learned all this. So when he was a king in the movie, people were confused. It didn’t help that God! Neptune was voiced by John o Hurley, and King!Neptune is Jeffery Tambor.

Here’s my explanation: King Neptune and God Neptune are two different characters. The one in the show is the real Neptune, and the movie Neptune is a king who was named after him. There you go.

His daughter is princess mindy (Voiced by Scarlett Johansen) and she’s not happy, because Neptune keeps executing people. Also, he gets pissed often cuz he’s bald.

NEPTUNE; THINNING!

Okay, fine.

So, he uses his crown to cover his…thinning spot. And of course, plankton steals it. Neptune shows up to the KK, as he thinks Mr krabs took it…because plankton forged a note saying mr k did it. We find out the crown is now in a place called Shell city, which is very dangerous.

Spongebob shows up and stands up Mr Krabs, even after what happened. Neptune decides to freeze Mr Krabs, and gives Spongebob and Patrick 6 days to get the crown back or he will….get rid of mr k.

So they do on an epic adventure with mermaid magic, patty cars, and a hitman named Dennis that plankton hired. (Voiced by Alec Baldwin).

So much happens that I won’t sum all that up, so I’ll skip to the best part of the movie/.\

After they run into Dennis, a big boot stomps on him, saving them all. But, the boot belongs to a Cyclops (really a scuba diver) who takes them up on land. He takes them to a shop where he turn fish into smelly knick knacks.

Now, here comes …a really interesting scene, which had a big impact on me in the theater.

They are put under a big lamp, to be dried up. It looks like this is the end. They never made it to shell city. But Patrick looks at the sign for a shop and it reads…SHELL CITY. Yes, they made it after all! And the crown is right there!

But sadly, it’s too late, and there’s no way out. They’re happy that they at least made after all. So, they sing…the goofy goober sing, but this time, it’s slow..and sad. They dry up, as they sing…and die…

And shed a single tear.

…

I’m not crying, I’m just sweating through my eyes.

Oh, and I forgot to mention, the movie opens with a bunch of pirates getting tickets to this movie, and they sit down, and then the movie proper opens.

They don’t show up again…until right when they die…and they are crying.

…Okay, now I am crying.

Anyway, their tears turn into a heart….still crying, and it runs down a eltrical cord, and hits the socket, turning on the sprinklers, saving them.

Yay.

So they escape, but it seems like they have no way to get home. Then they are saved by…

DAVID. HASSELHOFF.

Fuck yes.

So then he takes them back to their city…by acting as motor boat.

Again, fuck yes.

And after a final confrontation with Dennis, they end up back at Bikini Bottom,. Just in time to give Neptune his crown, and save the day.

Oh, and btw, plankton stole the formula, made krabby patties, and used bucket helemts to mind control everyone. Pretty epic.

But suddenly, plankton shows up, and puts a giant helmet on Neptune, thus taking him over.

So it looks like things are over for good, but Spongebob breaks into a speech about what he’s learned: Just because you’re a kid, doesn’t mean you can’t do anything. And some other stuff, idk. Spongeob said it better.

Then….he rocks out with a rock version of the goofy goober song, complete with epic guitar, a spoof of I wanna rock, and a use of the word “freakin”/

It’s epic on screen, trust me.

So SB saves the day with the POWER OF ROCK, plankton is thrown and jail, and Spongebob is made manage of the KK2. .

So that’s the entire plot.

To summarize, I love this movie. The animation is great, it’s funny as hell, the story is well done, and it’s epic as a film, but as genuine as the show. I won’t go on about the songs, or characters, since this blog is long enough.

The Spongebob means a lot to me, as a cartoon fan, and especially as a Spongebob fan. Sure, you may not like the post movie episodes, but the movie itself was a fitting end to the series, even if tons of loose ends are there.

If I were to give it a rating, it’d be a total 10/10, on a personal level. On a critical level, just a normal 9/10.

So, see ya.

Short List: Top 11 Nostalgia Critic Reviews

Hello Spongey here.

Today, I present another short list. In short, it’s a regular list but with no explanations for each choice. Why? I’m lazy.

Okay, do I need to explain who the Nostalgic critic is? He’s only one of the most famous internet reviewers ever…..

Fine, have some copy/paste:

The Nostalgia Critic is a web series. The show involves the Nostalgia Critic (played by Chicago comedian Doug Walker), often referred to as simply the Critic or NC, reviewing mostly nostalgic media in a negative (but humorous) manner. This mostly concerns movies and television series from the 1980s to 1990s, but he has made exceptions for movies that came out after 2000.

So, ya, he’s awesome. But he has like 150 reviews. Which ones are the BEST? Well, today is Doug Walker’s 30^th birthday, so let’s celebrate!

This is top the 11 Nostalgia Critic Reviews

11. James and the giant Peach

10. Top 11 Nostalgia Critic Fuck ups

9. Animaniacs Tribute

8. Nostalgic Commercials.

7. TMNT Coming Out of our shells tour

6. The OTHER Animated Titanic Movie

5. Batman and Robin

4. Battlefield Earth

3. The Room

2. Nickelodeon Month, Schwarzenegger Month, and Sequel Month

1. Garbage Pail Kids

Now go home, you hippies.