A Review of the Worst movie I've ever seen

Hello Spongey here.

Sometimes People ask me "Spongey, what is the worst movie you've ever seen?"

I've thought long and hard (Heh, long and hard) about this.


If you asked me a week ago, I would of said "Garbage Pail kids".


But yesterday, I have a seen a movie, that makes GPK look like Citizen Kane in Comparasion!


What movie? Well before I tell you, let me tell you a little history.

As I explained in another review. Even since popular works have entered the world, people have been mocking them trough parodies time and time again.


And the early 2000's a spoof film alled "Scary Movie" came out. It was good, and a huge hit. The film had 6 writers...sort of. 2 of them just made the orginal script the others scrapped it, and wrote a better one.

Those 2 writers, were named Jason Freidberg and Araon Seltzer. A few years later, they made thier own movie called "Date Movie". It...was crap. Then they made Epic Movie and Meet The Spartans which were also terrible.

But those movies are Citizen Kane, comarped to what they made next...

DISASTER MOVIE!


Now, I could do an Agony Booth-esque recap of the film but...I don't wanna think about this movie anymore then I have to.

So let's just do what I do in all my reviews.


Plot: None. There is NO PLOT AT ALL. To quote someone from the actual movie, "There's earthquakes or some shit". Or to be more specific, the world is being plagued by Disasters (besides Seltzerberg's movies) and the only way to stop it...is to put the crystal skull back on it's mantle no joke.


Final Thoughts:


This...is the worst movie ever. This was a painful experience.

What happened to good spoof movies? Like Ariplane, or Hot shots? Hell even Scary Movie was better!

This is just shit. That's it. The acting is horrible, the writing is lazy, the jokes are shit, and there's no plot at all.

To quote Roger Ebert, I hated this movie. Hated hated hated hated hated this movie. Hated it. Hated every simpering stupid vacant audience-insulting moment of it. Hated the sensibility that thought anyone would like it. Hated the implied insult to the audience by its belief that anyone would be entertained by it. And I'm not kidding.

Yes, GPK was bad. Batman and Robin was bad. The Last Airbender. was bnag. But there's one thing they sort of have that this movie does not: A plot. There's no plot. Just random pop culture references for 90 minutes.

This movie is so bad, that The Spill Crew, famous for hating Seltzerberg's films, gave it the lowest possible score...A "Fuck You". A rating invented for this movie. That's how bad it is.

Weill, I got THAT out of my system.

Anyway, this movie is fittingly named, because it was a Disaster at the box office. Even the fans. (What little they were) knew this was shit. BUT, they made another one called "Vampires suck" which was the best of their films. Which isn't saying much. It still sucked.

Final Score: -90000/10

See ya later!