Hello, spongey here
Welcome to spongey's christmas carol.
Sorry i haven't done this in awhile. i've been sick. seriously, i felt like shit.
And speaking of shit, let's talk about today's feature!
Remember alvin and the chipmunks? yea, sadly i do too. For years they've entertained kids and annoyed the fuck out of adults. Alvin, Simon and thedore have been popular since the 60's with that popular christmas song, which i do really like. Then in the 80's there was an animated series It was alright.
It was very popular. So with every popular animated thing...they made a live action movie out of it!
And with the release of....the new one with the shitty name., and the fact that christmas is heavily involved in this movie, i figured we should look at it.
First, the plot. Dave Sevile (Jason Lee) is a down on his song writer, who finds himself in the possesion of 3 signing chipmunks. First, his life is a living hell thanks to them. But he finds out that they can help out his song writing job. They sign a record deal with Ian Hawke (David Cross) and they become huge stars. You can fill in the blanks from there.
CHARACTERS
Yea, we won't jump into my final thoughts yet. We'll talk about certain stuff first. Let's discuss the characters in this
Jason Lee as Dave: Dave isn't the most likeable guy, but i don't hate him. He's just bland and boring. They try to make you feel for him, and in a more general way, i do. But not in the way the film wants you to. Oh, and jason lee? He's awful. Seriously. He looks like he does not want to be in this. He comes off as very forced, and it's like he doesn't he even try. Yea...
The Chipumunks:
Justin Long as Alvin: Let me put it bluntly: Alvin is an asshole. He does horrible things during this movie, and the other 2 chipmunks do nothing to stop him. They are enablers. I hate alvin. In the 80's show, he was just like a mischievous little kid. But here, he's a dick. /so ya...
The other two are of course Simon (voiced by some guy i've never heard of) and Theodore (Voiced by Jesse McCartney, who i sadly have heard of). Theodore is fat because he eats, and he eats because he's fat. Funny? No. Simon is....okay. The only one that doesn't bug me, so that's something.
Also, why get celebrties to do the voices if you're just going to pitch the voices anyway? No one's gonna tell!
David Cross as Ian Hawke: Okay, if i review a bad movie, i have to say one thing i liked about....this is that one thing. Seriously. He's actually kind of funny as the bad guy in this. He KNOWS he's in a bad movie, and has fun with it. I give him credit here. Oh, and by the way...David Cross recently said Chipwrecked was the worst experience of his career.
Not joking.
I needed to get that out the way, because i had a lot to say about this movie, but i needed to just talk about the important stuff in my final thoughts. Yes.
Final Thoughts:
Yea…I didn’t like this one. It’s bad. Very bad. Like I said before Jason lee is bad in this. He doesn’t try at all. Hell, in the 2nd one, he only show for 5 minutes, gets hurt, and you never see him until the end. (And Zachery Levi procecdes to waste his talent). But of course he saw that money, and came back for the 3rd one. The chipmunks are quite annoying. They sing bad covers of popular songs, do some unfunny jokes, and annoy you with those voices. And it's also very cliche. Oh, and it's way too "hip". They try to make the chipmunks hip with the hoodies, and the covers. it's just annoying. it's the part of these movies i hate the most. it shows that all they care about is making money, and not entertaining the kids. The sequel only makes this worse, but i won't get into that.
However, it's not the worst. It didn't piss me off too much....well it did once.
You see, in one scene, Theodore...shits on the couch. Dave comes in and sees this. Simon tells him it;s just a raisin. Dave tells him to prove it. Simon.....puts it in his mouth, and dave walks away.
....WHAT THE FU-
*WE ARE EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES*
Yea...I guess there's a market for 2 chipmunks one cup.
Overall, this movie may is lame, cliche, and annoying. It's just bad. But i will say one thing...
it's not as bad as the Squeakuel
GRADE: D
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